Meet Brandon, a second-generation American Kenyan, older brother, and proud son of Cecilia Gichane-Bell. Earlier this year, Brandon’s life was impacted by an unexpected and overwhelming amount of grief after losing his best friend and mother, Cecilia. Incomprehensible pain and feelings of defeat and hopelessness lead young Brandon to attempt suicide.
Thankfully, Brandon was taken into care, where he was then diagnosed with a major depressive condition and was immediately linked to supportive services. At the time, Brandon had never engaged with behavioral health services and was unaware of his diagnosis. Now three months later, he shares that programming at Caminar’s Redwood House, a residential crisis program that offers an alternative to hospitalization for individuals in the recovery process, has helped him regain his sense of worth and purpose.
Before connecting with Caminar, Brandon says he was highly suicidal since he had “lost life as he knew it.” For Brandon, coping with grief and living in a world without his mom felt inconceivable. That is until he developed the tools to independently reframe his perspective and welcome the idea that no one could replace his mother or the unique life experience they shared. Today, Brandon chooses to honor his mom by respecting the feelings of sorrow that emerge because of her physical absence. He shares that this shift in mindset allows for memories of them to elicit feelings of happiness.
Over the last three months, Brandon has integrated himself into the Redwood House community, participated in support groups, and added coping skills to his toolbox. More significantly, Brandon says that “this experience has made me a better person. I am able to wake up happy, have a sense of worth and purpose, and be a productive member of society.” Brandon thoughtfully explained that Caminar helped him focus on what matters, helped him find the drive to overcome obstacles, and that gives him hope that he can navigate life alone.
“Caminar taught me that it is okay to ask for help, that there is no shame in being lost. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes we just close our eyes and do not see it. I have been able to open my eyes here and be taught things I never thought I could be taught. I can identify how I feel and have learned how to feel!”
When asked about his experience with Caminar’s Expressive Arts Program, he said the program helped him exercise a muscle that had not been active since high school. “One day, I decided to paint Van Gogh’s Starry Night, and from then, I was committed to painting once a day!” For Brandon, art has been an escape from reality. In fact, he says that art helps him trick his brain into thinking he is back in high school when his reality was different.
As a person who struggles to trust people, Brandon shares that it feels great to be able to express his feelings and talents without fear of rejection. “Mike helps me embrace my talents and accept that I am talented,” says Brandon about Michael Collopy, Expressive Arts teaching artist, and a world-renowned photographer.
Overall, Brandon says that his encounters with Caminar staff have allowed him to work through his distrust of people and return to the version of himself that can connect with others more fluidly.
While services have only been extended to Brandon, the impact of accessing services seems to have had a further reach. Brandon admits that talking about mental health at home seemed out of reach, and now he can facilitate a conversation about mental health with his younger brother. He actively works towards destigmatizing perspectives around medication and seeking care and does his best to ensure his brother is comfortable talking about his physical and mental wellness. Brandon shares that these conversations have helped them grow and be healthy people who can express their feelings and feel safe doing so.
Today Brandon meets with peace knowing he had Cecilia as his mother and is happy knowing she is back where the journey started, secure, at home, resting in tranquility in Kenya.
